this came before it just incase anyone wants to be invovled:



"fingers trace your every outline... paint a picture with my hands"

Don't you get it? Don't you get it?

I don't want to write beautiful words. I don't want to write famous poems and famous prose. I don't want to hear little whispers of "oh my God is that her?" I don't want to be a star. A star would be nice. But I want more.



I want love.

"You have love... so keep it"
You don't understand... we hurt each other.

"you have love... so keep it"

yes?
"yes"

I don't want romantic walks at night. I don't want hot s&m sex. I don't want you to sing to me and I don't want an amazing voice. I don't want you to try to be different. I want you to respect people. I want you to respect me.



I want you to respect me.

I don't want to fight. I don't want a perfect life. I don't want a cute little cottage with flowers and babies and streams. I don't want big houses and malibu, botox at noon, lipo at 2, lifestyles at 6, collagen at 8. I don't want fame.



I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to be your hurt. I want to marry you... I want to be your bride. My finger is empty.... but you're my happiness... and I don't need a ring to prove it.... I just want you... I can't write pretty like you....I just need you to believe you.


I just want you. I just want fake fancy dinners. I want everything I tell you I hate about you. I want to stop telling you I hate you. I want to touch you. I don't want to have sex.



I want an opening in your heart and I want to be the only thing that can fix it.

That's what I want to be. That's all I want to do with my life is patch up little holes in your heart. I want to stop making them... but I do love fixing them up... suturing, kissing, nuturing, loving.

sutures

I just wnat that. I just wnat to be what you need...stop letting me take that away from myself... i love you.

"Penny dreams of rainy days and nights up late by the fireplace"



listen to me

LISTEN TO ME

i am miserable. my fingers are crying and my eyes are sore. I haven't raped a keyboard like this in about...oh... six months. listen, for real/

my body is nothing without yours beside it. i don't want to write like that. i just want to say i love you. i just want to say it and i just want to hear it.



Zane... I don't care anymore. I don't care who doesn't like you and who does, what friend says yes and what one says no. What friend looks down on me, at me, and what friend tells you lies as long as you stay. I don't care if the chicken is burnt or my voice is shakey. i don't care if you don't mind blood. I don't care if your nose drips on my cheek. I don't care if you stutter, stammer, whatever. I don't care if you skip words or switch words. I don't care if your grammar is exquisite or if I can't understand you. I don't care if my finger is ugly. I don't care if my hand is scarred up. I don't care.



I just care that you stay. I just care that you hold my hand when we cross the street and that you hug me when i try to run away and kiss my eyes when i cry... i just care that you say "hey saeb... i effing love you. you know why? 'cause I sure don't... but I do... I love you"


and i want to hear those words.